Early Years II

Posted on June 12th, 2007 by GracyBee.
Categories: Memory Lane.

While my cousins and I loved one another and were best play mates, our parents were not in the same position as us. The family pressures and problems thus lead to a big change in my life forever.

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At the tender age, my bro & I was sent over to Singapore for education. A lot of people mistaken that our family was rich and hence afford for overseas education. Sorry folks, that is not true. In my previous post I did mentioned that my parents was just handed over a business laden with debts. YES, with debts and family problems that my parents has to work doubly hard and take up extra jobs to pay our fees and expenses. WHY? so that we wouldn’t faced with unnecessary pressure from home. What a irony that while our GGM doted on us, our uncles & their wives were the different stories.

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Anyway I wondered how I have agreed to such arrangement to go foreign land. I only remembered this day.

One hot day in year 1985

In the car

Mum: Do you want to go Singapore to study?
Me: (holidaying??) YESSS!
Mum: ok

That was it really. Before I knew it, we were brought to Singapore and started our official schooling in Primary school. Still as blur as sotong, we didn’t even realise mum and dad not with us in Singapore. Perhaps we were not always with parents most of the time that was why we don’t quite miss them??

Now when I think back, I think that was quite a scary arrangement, esp for a 7 year old. Phew!!

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I stayed with my aunt (mom’s eldest sister). While staying there, we knew that we don’t quite belong to the family and so some arguements did existed between my aunt and her family; or us and her family. I think she faced quite tremendous pressure at that time. So at the beginning, I have to admit things weren’t going quite smoothly for about 2 years. I know my aunt loved us as her children, but sometimes the pressures don’t come from her but from her family. Thus I had what I called the strictest curfew which I don’t wish to mention here.

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During this time, they got a dog named Miki and he was a blessing to us. He treated us as his family and he was our main source of comfort and companion when we were feeling down. With him around, our lives did get better and I think he was the source that put us together as a family, though not yet a good one.

Despite all that, I did enjoy my school and life in Singapore as years flew so much that I have embraced Singapore as my home and my aunt’s family as mine. I have made good friends along the way too. (though there are some not so nice friendships, but hey, part and parcel of life)

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It was not till when I went up to JC and the birth of my niece that I thoroughly enjoyed my life in Singapore. I have my new freedom: I control my own money, has my own set of keys for the 1st time, the new niece into the family, the relationship I had that time made my life more complete.

I was in Singapore for the duration of 13 years.

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Early years part I

Posted on June 12th, 2007 by GracyBee.
Categories: Memory Lane.

It is time for me to jot my childhood memories before I forget about them completely.

I was born into an extended family consisting of my great grand mother, grandparents, parents (of coz), my uncles and aunts. At that time, my brother and me were the only children in the family.

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I have heard stories from many sources about my childhood. The day I was born, my great grand mother and maternal grandmother was not too happy for different reasons. The first, as she favoured boys more than girls, was disappointed and the worst, why I was a girl when I looked so much like a boy!! The second thought I looked ugly for a girl. ok~~ no comments about that, but I do have people coming to my mother when I was older and ask where her 2nd son is (My mother has one son and one daughter). And they don’t believe when my mother pointed the 2nd child is me. OK a good indication how I used to look like when I was young.

(more…)

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Family issues

Posted on June 12th, 2007 by GracyBee.
Categories: Everyday life.

Different people have different issues with their family members. While some have close relationship and understanding parents/ sibling, there are some, unfortunately, don’t have such.

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One of the issues I realise, always concern money. Once their children joined the work force, some parents demand that they are to be given money. That is pretty normal, but what happened if there are siblings; one don’t cooperate to give some to parents, leaving the pressure to another who don’t earn quite enough and yet wanted to save for future education.

I felt quite sad to know such incidents. I mean, I thought there should be some compromise and coperation between siblings to contribute to the family? And also ideally there should have some understanding from parents to know that children does face some difficulties about parting their hard earn money, especially when there is not enough to give. So why that hard pressure to give them quite a big sum when we don’t even earn that much? The pressure get so bad sometimes children threaten to move out or parents argued not to cook or do housework for them. I mean, where has the family harmony gone to?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not implying that children shouldn’t give. I know parents do sacrifice their time and money for the family. But time has changed. Things cost a lot more and sometimes whatever earned is not enough. I’m sure children want to contribute, but sometimes there are constraints that children only hope parents would understand. On the other hand, I have heard another side of the story that X has 3 children, all successful with their chosen careers. However, they don’t give X any money that X has to find odd jobs to support herself and her illness. I mean that is sad too. In this case, the children can afford to give so why not give?? I mean, they don’t think how their mum slogged during her times to help raise them?? Really don’t understand them. Surely they must have their reasons, but I just hope in my heart those reasons are not selfish one.

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I felt lucky that for the time being I don’t face such pressures at the moment as my parents are self sufficient at the moment. However, I know that they can’t be like that forever, so when that time arrived, I would try support them wherever I can and hope the pressure wouldn’t be too great as I do face with one problem at the moment!!

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What to do when face such problems? I still believe discussing, compromising and giving in are the keys but said is always easier than done.

I wish all the best, I hope in time, all be resolved.

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My Colleagues

Posted on June 12th, 2007 by GracyBee.
Categories: General.

Working in the airport has their plus and minus points. Hey, isn’t that the same everywhere right?

We have thousands of people working under one roof and under different shifts, and so it is common that you would not get to know or see one another, or others you can to see only once in a while. Because of these, it is quite common not to associate with them as much as you like. As you might guess it, a smile or a hi-bye greeting is the most we do when we see someone we know. Thus, it is a blessing to know someone not from your batch and remain close. N and F, you are a gem.

This post come about when it come to issues regarding my batch members. There is a chinese saying 日久见人心 (As time goes by, get to see the true colours of a person)。Don’t get me wrong. I still treat them like my friends. After all, who else but your batch members are the closest to me? We trained together, share the happy and sad moments together at work, getting together during our rare same break/ shift time together. At least, that was the case during our early days of going solo at work.

However, I couldn’t help but notice the change of behaviour in some from my batch. That is, coldness towards me and F and we don’t have a clue what happened that resulted the change of behaviour. There is a reason for F, which I and F think is childish. As for me, I was stunned as I couldn’t think of a reason or time I have offended her. First, we don’t work the same shift, which mean we don’t even get to see each other at all, perhaps one or two days. Second, I never have same flights with her, and lastly never get to see her after/ before work and never go out together So all that translated to near to NIL communication between both of us. SO why the change of behaviour? Her cousin was in the same shift as me, but we also rarely share time together, and so what the reason??? THAT IS STRANGE ISN’T IT?

This is not unfamiliar to me. I have faced with such treatment while I was still in school, and so I expected what is to come. Previously I was at the loss what happened as I loved all my friends dearly. However after much experience with it where I eventually knew what happened, I coped a lot better this time and seriously don’t even bothered with such friendship anymore. So they ignored me, I ignored them too.

My personal thoughts: I  can understand such incidents happened in school due to our age and maturity, but at work place?? I’m quite disappointed to know that. People are telling me: this is normal and exist in all work place. But can there be someone who think like: this is not normal? they don’t want healthy competition? They can’t handle this situation rationally rather than throwing tantrum, exchange strong words? Strange huh?

I am quite amazed that though it happened in different time, the whole situation is just the photocopy of each other. So I might have a clue what have happened, but heck not the fault of mine.

I still treat them as my friends. Hey: JUST MY HI-BYE FRIENDS. They don’t deserve my time as I prefer to direct my energy, time and smile to my other dear friends who love me for what I am and I do love them the same too.

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