Gracy Bee

Family Talk (29 Nov 2005)

Posted on January 2nd, 2007 by GracyBee.
Categories: Talks.

A Talk (29 Nov 2005)

This was the talk I had attended and decided to put it online.

It was a talk at a church about relationships - maintaining healthy relationships in couple hood. Though it was under Christianity’s context, but the important and main points are there.

• Willingness to listen, and listen with sincerity
• don’t do things when angry
• give up all defences
• no interruption
• don’t attack
• solve in the way your partner like, not your own preferred way
• as for children, give them hugs & kisses, let them cry in your embrace etc etc

• Speak in the language of love
• attitude, situation, time, place and environment
• right way to convey messages
• don’t accumulated problems
• speaking w/o love is hurting words
• 对事不对人
• 我，not 你

• Learn to let go - forgive and forget (both ways)
• I’m wrong
• I’m sorry
• Please forgive me (all at proper occassions)
• (if can’t do all these: proud, immature, weak, hard-hearted)

Role as a wife is also important (responsible):

• Respect your husband
• fear
• admire
• love
• like
• acknowledge his presence
• biggest influence is from wife
• give a sense of security to husband
• bad influence = bad attitude

• Encourage your husband
• willingness
• husband felt respected and successful

• 取悦
• communication - listen to her, but not shout
• sometimes not cos of issue, but cos ‘man of the house’ power
• smile warmly to welcome
• emotional influence to family
• fabulous dinner for husbands at least 4 days a week
• feel like someone is taking care of home
• important: the idea of home
• romantic night with husband

• Acceptance with love
• he is imperfect but still most important person in life
• accept his ideas and feelings
• listen but accept
• accept his failures and weaknesses
• 主动，非被动
• action of sacrifice

• Submission (顺服）
• ‘feng shi’
• show love
• but often mistaken as weaknesses, give in, follow blindly and lose self
• equality exists but one stands back
• of course must be reasonable
• good long term effects
• responsibility of man: feel successful as a man

• family being the top priority
• educate children
• early years of children the biggest foundation of life
• security and values

These are the basic role of woman, wife and mother

Sex is also important in men’s lives. That is nature. Important to make man feel wanted and love: submit to sex, but do not force him to do it

• Create warmth in the room: a romantic touch
• Time
• Energy
• Money: to dress up a bit….though not everyday
• the key word: looking forward to

The whole talk seem to be as traditional and thus not useful in contemporary context. But I personally think it is useful and gain some knowledge from it. Hope this does help you too.

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